She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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