as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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