But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
