She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
