I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
