Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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