I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
