If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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