If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
