i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's blow job season.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
