Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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