so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
