Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
