last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
