You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
