i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
