After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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