did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
