i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
