Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
