I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
