She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
