i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
