so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My breasts were aching with rage.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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