Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
