she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
