Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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