OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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