We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
