Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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