Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently you make a good broom.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
