You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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