Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
