And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
