dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
