He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
