So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
handjob tips. give me some.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
