Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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