margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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