oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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