If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We're too hungover to prance.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
