Someone shit on the floor
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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