someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
