VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
