worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize