I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
