ya dads aren't the best wingmen
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We don't watch enough power rangers
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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