didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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