I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My penis needs a shock collar
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
