I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize