i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
