But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
