Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
