when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
