it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
