Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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