i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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