You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she told me i tasted like america
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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