Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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