Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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