another moral hangover. fuck.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
