i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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