sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
