Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
