i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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