Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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