Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
