how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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